Tuesday, November 08, 2005
yesterday i was super tired. it's the first time after so long i felt so tired. straight doze off after few seconds. suppose to study in the afternoon. but my GREAT friends psycho me to kbox since they are in amk. yea. super crazy. left at 7, sent maine to meet renhan. then went for dinner with ann though we were quite full. tsk tsk. with such rate of eating everyday. i think i really need to go to the gym and burn my butterflies away. -luffs-
after dinner he zhen picked us up with haowen and went to sun plaza mac to study cause it's the nearest place from haowen's house. from 11 to 1 yes we were really studying. but haha. after that we were gossiping and digging all the fun we had back in secondary school days. from sec one to sec 4. netball to everyday's achievers' prog. the older batch of wearing school u. to our earlier batch to now. oh and i didn't know that our kuppo went to cut two slits on his school pants to make it into bell bottom and went aunty gwen came into the class to check he STAPLE them back. LOL.... and all those things when we were only sec one and the guys were still in school. it's really quite amazing that we actually still spend time like how we used to recently after so long. when some are studying , woking and in NS. truely appreciate each and every one's presence all these years may it be good or bad sometimes. but still a very nice bunch of ppl. ppl that grabs you whenever you fall all the time even they are not always around us though in a way that they doesn't seems like they care much about what is going on with our lives and ppl that always have the thought for each other no matter how busy they will be. and same goes to us.
recently was in deep thoughts of differentiating the my value that i hold for friends and relationship and also the sentence that girls are always been saying " a man and a woman can never be bestfriends". tt always tell myself to keep a distance not to cause any unnesscessary heartbreaks or future embarassment even to ppl that i always really wanted to take them as bestfriends. and if anyone claims that one doesn't have an thoughts in another then they aren't really that close aren't they. so to my conclusion. guys don't do "fruitless" investment. ((:haha. so now i'm in a dilemma between us. and about the value that i hold for friendship and relationship. friends always come first other than fmily of course and yes ,of course. i mean friends that always pick me up again and again everytime i fall and always turn up trumps for me. and lets hope that now we ain't having ppl that treat us in such a way of " disposable and reusable when in need" .
love is define as trouble .ok at least to me. quarrels more than compromising. giving cold shoulders more than cuddling and coaxing. complains more appreciation. throw a fit over the slightest thing. and when problem occurs their head turns into coconut husk. and all you do will be saying sick things or things that doesn't make any sense to others and cry like an idiot. worry about this worry about that. worry bout what you say, what you do and who you are with, will or will not anger him. cranky and jealousy. having weird and great imginary pictures in your head that he's seeing someone else. like those you see on tv? -CLAPS-. and if you haven't come to realise . it's making you losing your identity over the great works of love. prolly age earlier. if only. anyone that can give me peace and equal respect than maybe i would consider striking some points away. and maybe have a brand new point of view of such trouble.. but the right one will nv knock on
my door. really.
exam will be over on friday. will spend sometime with mum. i dont know what i'm looking forward. but there's thoughts of looking forward to something and anxiety and apprehension seems like holding back the clock. i'm living each day like dying slowly. yah but everyone is living everyday while dying in a slow way. :P right gotta go. too much of ranting and i bet no one have the patience to finish my asinine shit. ciao.
