Friday, November 18, 2005
back to sg soil. ha. homeless. got locked out cause no one was at home and i forgot my keys before i left. when to maine's house to take a shower and met up with ann and lene. had some coffee at starbucks while waiting for someone to get home. surprisingly i suggested long john for dinner. something that i never like eating. ha. it's just weird . recently there's many changes in life things that i nv did or try or always wanted to do but still left them undone. it's like i left some part of me behind the closed doors and a better and something new about myself that i discovered about myself in another new opened door. and when it shuts again. you learnt something new about things. things that happen around you, people around you hmmm i don't know . it's somehow like a cycle or something. now that exam is over. i have more time to daydream. lol. and yah. plans. found that i really miss school when ppl hated it most and grumbling about everyday , i miss going everyday. anyways, having this struggle inside about should i follow what i wish though i'm not really prepared for it , or maybe i should say to face failure again really if i carry too much hopes. when i see the confidence everyone have in me, my dad, sis, bro, ann, maine, lene, changda, jialiang, francis the person i really should thank, selina and others. i felt i shouldn't disappoint them most importantly my parents twice. nv meet failure till yah you know and it somehow left this thorn in me which i know it's not something you can fight it away so easily and i'm left to live for 3 more months in the failure i have made and it's nothing but RESULTS that will take all this shit that this one whole year had happen away. play the hell out does help sometimes for not reminding myself for what i have did myself so wrong and sorry. but at times the disapointment still hurts. know i can't be sorry to anyone but myself. it's the worst part. but hope that after this 3 damn months of worry everything will be OVER.
enjoying the holidays is neither something new nor does excites me like those that going to finish their o levels. haha. shame on me. right.
mr wan has fallen asleep over the phone while i'm typing this out. can really see a LIL change in him and he's more of a friend now and really gonna thank him for his presence recently when i'm going through all the shit this few weeks but it's finally over and of course to people that truly care. much appreciated.
annie tan i've completed my work, your order, folding those dumb hearts that i nv did in my whole life for anyone but for that stupid jerk of yours it's because i don't want you to stay up late and have cross eyes the next day cause you already have elmo eyes.
off to bed. night peeps. loves.
