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CITY OF ANGELS
Sunday, September 25, 2005

went to queensway today. but rq's not working today. but we saw azmi. and miss leney is like a mad ass. lol. telling me how handsome azmi is. haha. but he's nt that bad either. at least he's one of the malays that i think he's really nice and humble. so yeah. -nudge- y not uh -grin- lol.. lotsa long bus trips today.. sick. was scare the hell out of me when i blast my earphone to the max when this person i saw at the station appeared right behind me when i reached my lift. standing quite a few steps away from me. in this very weird position and posture. and he's kinda shivering and sweating. looks quite psychotic. as i look at the lift coming down from the 11th floor to the 4th. i started to panick. should really hit myself for having the thought of. heck la nothing will happen not so sway. but don't know y i picked up my handphone and thought of calling my sis. suddenly he RAN off. blog hopping. ha. first time. was so bored. but yeah. the first blog i came across i stopped. i don't know but i think life is damn hard if you got this person on your mind every min. every second what ever you do. n go. it really sucks. and you know that the person don't love you ANYMORE. like NOT ANYMORE. how can this possibly happen if the both of you WERE so madly in love. IF. and of everything it's your own doings that made everything went wrong. but when you came to realise all this. you want it back. but it's too late . all you can do is seek and beg for forgiveness. hoping that person will return someday... total tragic. and i felt damn lucky to be out of all this pathetic shit of 2 years. seeing someone every single day. ok. 5 days a week. 6 hours of your day. sitting right in front of you. looking at him everytime when he's within your vision. THIS IS TOTALLY CRAZY. life is totally in a big ugly mess. i swear. but yeah. now. i'm so happy i shake all this shit off. -blessed- and i will nv let myself fall into it again. EVER AGAIN. definately not the same person. i will never again do myself wrong and regret my life away living in such miserable days. i will prolly kill myself using the fastest way. i should always tell myself not to take things for granted. nono. and life should have something to be happy about everyday to cover those unwanted miseries. shit. i'm catching a 915 show tomorrow. ha. i know this is totally insane. but yeah. will see my girls tomorrow. night people. sorry to rant man. lol. but i just hate myself for being like i used to be for sooooo long. i must have aged alot. tsk tsk. but i knw someone will shower me with his love. -drenched-. ha not funny. ok. i love all my babies. n you. hahaha. ok corny. night. ((:

life is beautiful with you;
2:01 AM