Wednesday, September 28, 2005
i know i wasn't really there for you when all these misery fall on that day. but i just thought that what ever i said to you , you didn't wanna listen what more can i say? seriously i hate myself for being not like how i used to when i see you in this kind of deep shit. but you are totally out of control do you know that. and when you think everyone don't really care. but do you know everyone is so worried for you. cause you are going crazy. and i start to fear things that you promised me you will nv do it AGAIN!. you should know how we take each others' word. so if you are going fucking not help yourself and give up what you have now just for this. you know how mad i will be. and knowing everyone will still be there for you. i seriously feel that i'm a sucker when i no longer feel the pain when i see you cry. i don't fucking care if any others are saying i'm a emotional freak but when it comes to you ppl. things are just the way it is.. but i rather have back that kind of feeling than being a sucker now. i swear.
i thought when it comes to making decision. i will be very sure of it. n know that i will nv look back into it ever. but this few days i think i wondered off too much. i knew i gave up on someone that could give me everything. every single thing tt i think should happen. but just not on the part about feeling as much for him like the way he does for me. and now for all i care is exam . when all this SHOULD be affecting me like the past. but i seems to be able to draw a line between them. i think i lost too many pieces of me. and of all reasons it's still because i'm scare to be hurt. i really respect that somebody that prove me so right for being like now.
life is beautiful with you;
2:58 PM