Sunday, August 14, 2005
hmm. today i was like a jelly. when i opened my eyes first thing in the morning. i couldn't get up. it's definately not about not taking my meals. but probably not enough of proper food. -luffs. hmmm. my life is turning totally insane. my body can works longer than what i expected. but i think one day , that day soon to come, i will collapse n maybe spend months in bed.. nothing much interest me today. i look at things i used to like like they are nothing don't feel happy. appreciated or excited over it. fireworks is still fireworks. cheese cake is still a cheese cake. my fav gummi is still a gummi.i chew it then that's it. i dun feel like going for the second one. when maine told me hey look at ann n jon. so bliss together. can watch fireworks together. my face was straight. since fireworks is still fireworks.. it doesn't really matter who watch with who. -smirk- but i know my best friend was smiling from cheeks to cheeks n i felt nothing inside... i jus kept walking n walking and i dun feel tired at all. i do laugh n smile. it doesn't help. gosh. i jus feel like staying home for the rest of the days till i feel better. don't feel like talking to anyone. don't feel like seeing anyone. it gets sick when you do things just for no objective. n today. everything seems to be like that. in esplanade or even anywhere seems like the same sitting down now infront of the computer at home. then next i will just go to bed and have no idea what actually i'm doing today. pointless. totally.
